A tribute to nice guys (a repost from another page on multiply)

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish
last,that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining
and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very
point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder

to
lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold
open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently
outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the
guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy
their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know
most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys
with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is
in honor of the guys who respect a girl's every facet, from her privacy
to her theology to her clothing style.



This is for the guys who
escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and
never take advantage once they're at her door, for the guys who
accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male
population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but
give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a
game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as
boyfriend

material but somehow don't end up being boyfriends, for
all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and
unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and
unjustly abandoned, this is for you.



This is for that time she
left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her
back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her
boyfriend said to her

over dinner. And even though you thought her
boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok
and she shouldn't worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted
the best killing spree you'd ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a
rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most
repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was
immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game

for
two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the
floor. This is also for that time she didn't have a date, so after
numerous vows that there was nothing "serious" between the two of you,
she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the

beer was
awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of
reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: "oh, but we're just
friends!" And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm
body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you're

nice like that.



The
nice guys don't often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more
disturbing, the nice guys don't seem to get laid as often as they
should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can't.
From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from
talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only
conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical,
manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice
guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational,
confusing things such as "oh, he's too nice to date" or "he would be a
good boyfriend but he's not for me" or "he already puts up with so much
from me, I couldn't possibly ask him out!" or the most frustrating of
all: "no, it would ruin our friendship." Yet, they continue to lament
the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their
too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men
that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to
fathom. I can't figure out why the connection breaks down between what
they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I'm going to sleep with
this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the
nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn't last forever. There are
definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize
they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The
tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones
that are single.



So, until those girls are found, I propose a
toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you're
sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth
of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department
store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your
propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane,
absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the
faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my
gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and
your well deserved vindication is coming.





This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal