From SG to MNL

3-plus months after making the jump from SG to Manila... I finally get the chance to sit down and write about the change... It feels like a past life - the 2 years I spent in Singapore have (on several instances) flashed before my eyes... the people I've met, lived with and worked alongside in grad school and P&T/Surbana... the life lessons... the fun and hard slogging that went hand-in-hand.

While the decision to move back was easy to make - the lead up to the leap back was fraught with worry and distress - although I had an idea of what I'll be jumping into, one never fully knows until you're in the thick of it. Emotional eating and weight gain aside - I don't regret the process and I've fully embraced the challenges of making my life in Manila work.

The truth is... we all wish for the best of everything - what we end up with is somewhere in between our best hopes and our worst fears...

I've exchanged my independence and stress-free environment for the warmth and love of my family - and the pressure / expectations of the family business and the responsibilities of being the proverbial glue in my family's dealings.

I've traded a long distance relationship - for a real-time, face-time relationship and have learned what it really means to be in one... the realization is that... long distance relationships become problematic not because of the distance - but because they make you comfortable with the idea of half-assing your efforts - token, stop-gap webcam time, emails and text messages can only take you so far... so much of relationships take place on real-time and it  takes a certain degree of self-deception to be "ok" with it.

I've temporarily let go of the idealism and prescriptive structure of Singapore and the practice of urban design - for the crazy free-for-all, free-market chaos of the Philippines - a part of me is at a loss trying to figure everything out - but another part of me (probably the Pinoy part) is happily taking everything in-stride as part of life "back home." Our time to make a change will come - in the mean time I shall partake in the spectacle that is our beloved country.

I've quit on the idea of being a small guy doing someone else's big work, and have taken on the challenge of helping build something I can say I am truly part of. I've taken the challenge to build the dream - no matter how small the steps are, how arduous the climb and how frustrating it is to build and grow an architectural practice in the Philippines.

Mahirap. Matindi ang kompetisyon. Hindi man napakaganda ng mga nakukuhang proyekto - pupuwede na rin dahil at least sa amin ito - kelangan lang pagbutihan - kokonti man ang bala - basta magaling at masipag - makakatama din kami.

Mahirap din kasi minsan - nakakakalimot ako na in a way, I've rescinded on my independence to take up this challenge - from a no-stress free-agent in Singapore - all of a sudden I'm back in College - being mentored by my Dad - ano nangyari? parang tumanda akong paurong - it takes a lot of prayer and introspection to remind myself na I'm in an old man's profession - and that I still need to learn from my old man - until I myself am an old man.

I've let go of the open-endedness for the chance to build. To build what - I'm not quite sure yet - its under construction.

Now enough of the talk - its back to the walk.

\m/