Nagresign na ako sa trabaho - hindi dahil hindi ko kaya yung stress kundi dahil... pakiramdam ko... wala na akong bagong natututunan and hindi naman din bago yung ginagawa ko kung ikukumpara ko sa ginagawa naming proyekto sa Manila. Naisip ko... kung ako'y magpapakamatay para sa architecture... gagawin ko sya para sa opisina namin... at para makatulong sa 'pinas... at hindi para sa opisina ng kung sino lang - at sa bayan ng may-bayan
Nakakadismaya para sakin dahil mula pa man - nasanay akong sumabak sa issue/problema from a big-picture perspective. Aminin ko na din - mukhang yun talaga ang forte ko - siguro masyado na din ako matagal na gumagawa ng maliliit na bagay - things that are oftentimes merely aesthetic on an operational level - kaya naaasiwa ako at nafrufrustrate ako sa kababawan ng klase ng arkitektura na ginagawa ko para sa opisinang nilisan ko. Kung nung dati - iniisip ko ang long-term strategy ng isang development - ngayon ang iniisip ko panay ac ledges, bay windows at mga coping/pop-outs nalang - na kung tutuusin wala naman talagang added value sa broader context;
Fine... I do appreciate good small details; but the truth is... as cheezy as it may sound... I decided to do architecture not merely because it is the most fantabulous ego-trip known to man... (aminado ako na isa yun sa dahilan) but because I always thought that change/progress in our built environment and human hardware will help change our world - and our country; but then, after many years of doing architecture I realise that a lot of it is just articulation - and that that true change springs from big ideas, policies and effective implementation. Its not just about pretty things and astig na graphics or visuals... its about content and the software that enables people to build the hardware.
So in conclusion... after my brief encounter with architecture here in the Singaporean context - I've decided na although marami pa rin akong kailangan matutunan sa Arki - mas fulfilling parin syang gawin kung nasa context ng sarili mong opisina/practice ito ginagawa; at mas may halaga ito kung sa sarili mong bayan tinatayo; I've resolved to do architecture as I have always done it... as a full-time amateur (just like the open source coders who've worked on the great pieces of open source software like mozilla firefox and linux... as a hobby... doing it on the side)
While as a dayjob... I've decided to focus on Urban Design/Planning - mas may added value/learning ito for me... and potentially for our design practice in the future. Its a luxury/blessing for me to have other options - indeed safety nets are in place. Which is why... I'm not going to pussy-foot my way around things anymore - bigger leaps and strategic moves are in play now. And I'm relishing the departure from short-term day-to-day tactical thinking; into broader long term strategy.
I'm not sure about what's in store about my next moves... but I'm trusting my positive gutfeel on the situation.
Other things on tap:
- Celina (my sis) will be in town... so Singapore Tourism Board guide nanaman ako
- Thoroughly enjoyed the deepavali holidays ;) For a lot of good and bad reasons
- Yumoyoyo diet nanaman ako :P
- PR na ako
- Nakakamiss ang Grad School... my next few moves are the closest I can get to going up that Ivory Tower again
- Miss ko na ang Pinas/Family ko
- Miss ko na ang aso namin
- Pleasant Surprise talaga... maliit ang mundo :P
Anyway.
Sa uulitin
always kick ass!
