the mind weaves
between the brilliant flashes;
fingers grasping deftly
at nothing,
trying to stop me
from freefalling
into the depths;
where i know
i lose myself
to questions and doubt;
you set me off balance
bearings lost
burnt away
by your sheer radiance;
you jar my faith
in the universe
and leave me
no space for my reason
nor my rhyme
for they fall
with your preoccupation
for things i'll never
fully fathom...
you broke me out
of my formerly
unassailable stance...
no longer solid,
no longer clear;
bring me back
from the restlesness,
into the standstill
that i know
only your spirt brings...
Sunday, 24 February 2008
Saturday, 23 February 2008
Wednesday, 20 February 2008
Thoughts on Thesis Projects and why Urbanism
I haven't had the chance to properly articulate my thoughts lately. I've been immersed with schoolwork and the basic business of living - you know... the stuff that a lot of comfortable people tend to take forgranted: laundry, cooking, ironing, etc ad infinitum 
. But seriously... these things take quite a lot of time... and unless you'd want to end up smelling bad, looking bad and eating nothing but MSG-laden chinese food... you really have to get things done.
The past semester has gone quite fast... I'm thoroughly enmeshed in work - 5 modules of work actually... including dissertation and an extra elective. I have to say that the academic experience has been extremely eye-opening. It has forced me to reassess how I see the practice of architecture and planning in the Philippine context and has made me realise just how badly behind we are from the perspective of thought, discourse and analysis. Notice... I mentioned defficiencies in thought process... not in talent, flair or style. (all of which I think we might have too much off... )
Past experiences has made me a lot more stoic about things I'm very idealistic about. I've learned to just take a lot of things as a fact of life and just as a course of normal business... especially in a small, subsistence economy like the Philippines... I'm better off biting my tongue and just focusing on the task at hand. But I digress... but let me talk about how I got into Urbanism and why I decided to take Urbanism.
When I was in 5th year Architecture, I underwent the same rite-of-passage like everyone else... the Thesis project. Among architecture students ... It is the perennial act of indulging your "designer" ego and finally getting to do forms and buildings you'll probably never be able to do. The usual theme for thesis projects included iconic high-rises, museums, performing arts centres, etc. So anyway... I really did not start from a fixed form or project programme - heck... in fact I didn't know exactly what I'll end up doing... What I was sure of however, was my intent to try solving a something innately close to my heart => parking in UST. Yes... wow pocs... kaganda naman ng thesis mo... parking building.
But then I realised... the lack of parking within UST was just a canary in the mine... it was an indicator of much bigger problems/issues that concerned both the campus and the city of Manila as well. So... to keep it short... I ended up doing a very aesthetically constricted building... because I had to stick to the aesthetic of UST... (which suppressed my pagkadesigner a great deal) and began to focus on the design of public spaces, open spaces and learning spaces... it became an exercise in identifying the problems of a site... and then recommending an urbanistic solution (a building) which also just so happened to have an architectural program or use (a college building). It was - dare I say... different because I did not come in with a megalomaniacal agenda to indulge my ego. I just wanted a parking space.
So anyway... during presentation... I was quite frustrated because I was surrounded by amazingly well rendered, iconic architecture... but then I took it with a grain of salt and just accepted it... in Architecture school... the professors never questioned the intent of the student to design the project... whatever it may be... an airport, a museum for dogs, a pile of dung for that matter... because it was just a fact... they never questioned intent... because professors probably look at students like little kids... "Give them something to play with..."
Thus thesis projects evolve to be exercises in aesthetics... as far as projects were concerned... everything is iconic... everything is grand... everything was an object building. This is the case now... from all the thesis projects I've see on multiply... no one tried to engage the city... no one tried to do something meaningful in terms of solving urban problems... it was status quo... look good=feel good.no one wanted to do a fabric building... (which incidentally... I did).
Ok... so hindi na ako magbubuhat ng sariling bangko... But now I realise... to not question intent is wrong itself. Unless students and architects learn that buildings are just part of the bigger picture - that of the city... we as architects will end up designing buildings that sit in the middle... iconic yes... but are anti-human... and anti-urban as well.
In a way... the thesis was my introduction into urbanism... except I didn't know what to call it back then. Now... I realise that we architects are both the culprits and the solution to the issues that plague Manila... we just need to reorient our education system to see things differently. We, at some point, have to overcome our preoccupation with form-making... and become problem solvers in the scale of the city. More than the wrapping of the building... we have to learn how to appreciate thoughts, strategies, and concepts to real pressing issues...
<ehem ehem> <end rant>
Enlightenment starts... with the search for a parking slot.
. But seriously... these things take quite a lot of time... and unless you'd want to end up smelling bad, looking bad and eating nothing but MSG-laden chinese food... you really have to get things done.The past semester has gone quite fast... I'm thoroughly enmeshed in work - 5 modules of work actually... including dissertation and an extra elective. I have to say that the academic experience has been extremely eye-opening. It has forced me to reassess how I see the practice of architecture and planning in the Philippine context and has made me realise just how badly behind we are from the perspective of thought, discourse and analysis. Notice... I mentioned defficiencies in thought process... not in talent, flair or style. (all of which I think we might have too much off... )
Past experiences has made me a lot more stoic about things I'm very idealistic about. I've learned to just take a lot of things as a fact of life and just as a course of normal business... especially in a small, subsistence economy like the Philippines... I'm better off biting my tongue and just focusing on the task at hand. But I digress... but let me talk about how I got into Urbanism and why I decided to take Urbanism.
When I was in 5th year Architecture, I underwent the same rite-of-passage like everyone else... the Thesis project. Among architecture students ... It is the perennial act of indulging your "designer" ego and finally getting to do forms and buildings you'll probably never be able to do. The usual theme for thesis projects included iconic high-rises, museums, performing arts centres, etc. So anyway... I really did not start from a fixed form or project programme - heck... in fact I didn't know exactly what I'll end up doing... What I was sure of however, was my intent to try solving a something innately close to my heart => parking in UST. Yes... wow pocs... kaganda naman ng thesis mo... parking building.
But then I realised... the lack of parking within UST was just a canary in the mine... it was an indicator of much bigger problems/issues that concerned both the campus and the city of Manila as well. So... to keep it short... I ended up doing a very aesthetically constricted building... because I had to stick to the aesthetic of UST... (which suppressed my pagkadesigner a great deal) and began to focus on the design of public spaces, open spaces and learning spaces... it became an exercise in identifying the problems of a site... and then recommending an urbanistic solution (a building) which also just so happened to have an architectural program or use (a college building). It was - dare I say... different because I did not come in with a megalomaniacal agenda to indulge my ego. I just wanted a parking space.
So anyway... during presentation... I was quite frustrated because I was surrounded by amazingly well rendered, iconic architecture... but then I took it with a grain of salt and just accepted it... in Architecture school... the professors never questioned the intent of the student to design the project... whatever it may be... an airport, a museum for dogs, a pile of dung for that matter... because it was just a fact... they never questioned intent... because professors probably look at students like little kids... "Give them something to play with..."
Thus thesis projects evolve to be exercises in aesthetics... as far as projects were concerned... everything is iconic... everything is grand... everything was an object building. This is the case now... from all the thesis projects I've see on multiply... no one tried to engage the city... no one tried to do something meaningful in terms of solving urban problems... it was status quo... look good=feel good.no one wanted to do a fabric building... (which incidentally... I did).
Ok... so hindi na ako magbubuhat ng sariling bangko... But now I realise... to not question intent is wrong itself. Unless students and architects learn that buildings are just part of the bigger picture - that of the city... we as architects will end up designing buildings that sit in the middle... iconic yes... but are anti-human... and anti-urban as well.
In a way... the thesis was my introduction into urbanism... except I didn't know what to call it back then. Now... I realise that we architects are both the culprits and the solution to the issues that plague Manila... we just need to reorient our education system to see things differently. We, at some point, have to overcome our preoccupation with form-making... and become problem solvers in the scale of the city. More than the wrapping of the building... we have to learn how to appreciate thoughts, strategies, and concepts to real pressing issues...
<ehem ehem> <end rant>
Enlightenment starts... with the search for a parking slot.
Monday, 18 February 2008
Saturday, 9 February 2008
What to learn from Super Bowl 42
Ah... so I finally have the time and words to write about last week's amazing upset. The 18 win, 0 loss New England Patriots were beaten 17-14 by the underdog New York Giants... what a game it was... the first 3 quarters were ho-hum... but the 4th quarter was heartstopping!
1. In the biggest stage, the biggest battle of your life... you got to play loose... you got to enjoy the moment! Patriots QB Tom Brady was as tense and stiff as he was on a first date... (haha... ok that didn't sound right... he is after all dating Giselle Bundchen), while the Giants offense and defense were getting it done by enjoying the game... playing the game, being loose... having fun!
2. DEFENSE wins championships... indeed the maxim holds true... a ton of offense won't do you good if you can't hold your fort. In life... as boring as it may sound... conservative and sensible plays win the game... the truth is... bold, pivotal moments are too few and far between... what we need to learn is to muster the energy to fight for the slow grind... for every inch.
3. Karma is a bitch... Yep... allegations against the Patriots were still flying around on Super Bowl Week about the videotaping scandal that happened on Week 1 of the regular season. Indeed... it cast a dark shadow over the Patriot's dynasty of 3 Superbowl wins. There's probably more controversy to come once new evidence surfaces against them during their match against St. Louis several years back.
4. Pedigree means something... got to admit... blood matters... first it was Archie Manning as marquee quarterback for the Saints, then its his son Peyton (who won last year's Superbowl/MVP) and then this year Eli Manning (the youngest of the brood) wins the Superbowl and MVP award in the most miraculous fashion... escaping 3 sacks and hitting David Tyree on a leaping catch... with Patriots safety Rodney Harrison battling him every inch of the way down for ball possession. That's pedigree. It runs in the blood!
5. In life, the pivots/junctions are the most important... The quarterback of the offense (in the NFL) is the most important position, because he makes the calls, adjustments and executes the pass plays... which is why... the New York Sack Exchange... headed by the chief broker... Michael Strahan, and his colleagues Justin Tuck, Osi Umenyora, et al. were vital in disrupting the flow of the game. In life... just as in biology and football... if you want to take something apart... start with the joints.
There's so much more to be said about the game... with all its storylines... prettyboy QB Tom Brady being humbled to the ground... Patriot headcoach Belichik running off at the 1 second mark... without finishing the game... 18 year veteran linebacker Junior Seau coming out of retirement only to lose in the big game again... the former pain-in-the-ass drill seargent/coach Tom Coughlin transforming to a fun, affable, team leader... all of which are very fertile ground for life lessons... who says sport isn't applicable to real life? Now back to real life for me
1. In the biggest stage, the biggest battle of your life... you got to play loose... you got to enjoy the moment! Patriots QB Tom Brady was as tense and stiff as he was on a first date... (haha... ok that didn't sound right... he is after all dating Giselle Bundchen), while the Giants offense and defense were getting it done by enjoying the game... playing the game, being loose... having fun!
2. DEFENSE wins championships... indeed the maxim holds true... a ton of offense won't do you good if you can't hold your fort. In life... as boring as it may sound... conservative and sensible plays win the game... the truth is... bold, pivotal moments are too few and far between... what we need to learn is to muster the energy to fight for the slow grind... for every inch.
3. Karma is a bitch... Yep... allegations against the Patriots were still flying around on Super Bowl Week about the videotaping scandal that happened on Week 1 of the regular season. Indeed... it cast a dark shadow over the Patriot's dynasty of 3 Superbowl wins. There's probably more controversy to come once new evidence surfaces against them during their match against St. Louis several years back.
4. Pedigree means something... got to admit... blood matters... first it was Archie Manning as marquee quarterback for the Saints, then its his son Peyton (who won last year's Superbowl/MVP) and then this year Eli Manning (the youngest of the brood) wins the Superbowl and MVP award in the most miraculous fashion... escaping 3 sacks and hitting David Tyree on a leaping catch... with Patriots safety Rodney Harrison battling him every inch of the way down for ball possession. That's pedigree. It runs in the blood!
5. In life, the pivots/junctions are the most important... The quarterback of the offense (in the NFL) is the most important position, because he makes the calls, adjustments and executes the pass plays... which is why... the New York Sack Exchange... headed by the chief broker... Michael Strahan, and his colleagues Justin Tuck, Osi Umenyora, et al. were vital in disrupting the flow of the game. In life... just as in biology and football... if you want to take something apart... start with the joints.
There's so much more to be said about the game... with all its storylines... prettyboy QB Tom Brady being humbled to the ground... Patriot headcoach Belichik running off at the 1 second mark... without finishing the game... 18 year veteran linebacker Junior Seau coming out of retirement only to lose in the big game again... the former pain-in-the-ass drill seargent/coach Tom Coughlin transforming to a fun, affable, team leader... all of which are very fertile ground for life lessons... who says sport isn't applicable to real life? Now back to real life for me
Thursday, 7 February 2008
Nothing new...
You go in prepared...
with the right mindset;
its nothing new
you've done this before
a few variations
here and there;
first as a wingman,
sometimes in a group,
eventually on your own;
you try to play it cool
try to be disconnected
unaffected even
its nothing new
you psyche yourself
run mental reps
try not to make
a fool of yourself
they run you through the intro
pleasantries exchanged
handshakes even?
smalltalk here and there
then you realise
the mark isnt there... yet
you dribble your play...
shuffle around
til the mark arrives
you get floored...
derailed even...
by sheer appearances?
by the intimidation
offered by the entourage
or just by the sheer rush
of seeing the mark
knowing... who
for the next
succeeding moments
will be intricately
listening
and picking you apart
beneath the casual
detached air;
your palms sweat
and your throat rasps
in a dried out gasp
you pace yourself
you pick your points
time it right...
not too soon;
else you look too eager...
not too late;
for she is fickle;
make your pitch
you flex
based on your reads;
improvise...
its nothing new...
it ends;
cast the line
make the pitch
sell it soft!
you get out
and walk back
feeling the cold
hard pavement
through the fading
soles of your shoes
a warmth runs
through your belly;
the scene lingers-
doubt eats
into your conscious;
nothing new...
it falls flat;
with the resonance
of a thud...
dead in the water
without a chance...
for it ended
before it started
its nothing new
but its never
ever the same.
each one both better
and worse than the last.
I'm sick of the game.
with the right mindset;
its nothing new
you've done this before
a few variations
here and there;
first as a wingman,
sometimes in a group,
eventually on your own;
you try to play it cool
try to be disconnected
unaffected even
its nothing new
you psyche yourself
run mental reps
try not to make
a fool of yourself
they run you through the intro
pleasantries exchanged
handshakes even?
smalltalk here and there
then you realise
the mark isnt there... yet
you dribble your play...
shuffle around
til the mark arrives
you get floored...
derailed even...
by sheer appearances?
by the intimidation
offered by the entourage
or just by the sheer rush
of seeing the mark
knowing... who
for the next
succeeding moments
will be intricately
listening
and picking you apart
beneath the casual
detached air;
your palms sweat
and your throat rasps
in a dried out gasp
you pace yourself
you pick your points
time it right...
not too soon;
else you look too eager...
not too late;
for she is fickle;
make your pitch
you flex
based on your reads;
improvise...
its nothing new...
it ends;
cast the line
make the pitch
sell it soft!
you get out
and walk back
feeling the cold
hard pavement
through the fading
soles of your shoes
a warmth runs
through your belly;
the scene lingers-
doubt eats
into your conscious;
nothing new...
it falls flat;
with the resonance
of a thud...
dead in the water
without a chance...
for it ended
before it started
its nothing new
but its never
ever the same.
each one both better
and worse than the last.
I'm sick of the game.
Wednesday, 6 February 2008
A tribute to Brother Felix Mason FSC
I just heard the news from Manila that our one and only beloved "pogiman" Bro. Felix has just passed away. If there is anything that would closely resemble a collective memory for each one of my contemporaries in DLSZ, he would have been it. He would call us down to his office whenever our birthday would come up, and he would give all of us a "stampita" of a specific saint or image with relevance to our birth month.
The beauty of this uniform gesture is... despite the fact that everyone gets called in, he always manages to keep each encounter specific, warm and genuine. Thats the kind of man Bro. Felix was. During my trips to his office, he would tell me about his time growing up in San Leandro, California and how he'd play pelota (a racquetsport like jai-alai) with his fellow wine-country lads. He was kind of like a happy version of John Steinbeck's Grapes of Wrath.
His presence was both public and personal... he was a steady outpost of warmth and sincerity in the midst of the socially-charged, cold, cliquish, conformist atmosphere that permeated high school.
In fact, truth be told, I probably wouldn't be able to receive the kind of quality education from zobel if not for him - because my mom appealed for leniency through him because at that time, they were strict on age requirements and residence requirements... i think it was a strong matter of policy wherein first priority would be given to residents of AAV... think of it as early affirmative action in a local context - it was just before my batch wherein they started to accept more and more village outsiders.
Anyway... to Bro. Felix - thank you for all the memories... we will miss you dearly... but we'll be happy knowing that you'll be up there in the great vineyard in the sky... enjoying the vino in between your epic pelota matches with your bigger family.
The beauty of this uniform gesture is... despite the fact that everyone gets called in, he always manages to keep each encounter specific, warm and genuine. Thats the kind of man Bro. Felix was. During my trips to his office, he would tell me about his time growing up in San Leandro, California and how he'd play pelota (a racquetsport like jai-alai) with his fellow wine-country lads. He was kind of like a happy version of John Steinbeck's Grapes of Wrath.
His presence was both public and personal... he was a steady outpost of warmth and sincerity in the midst of the socially-charged, cold, cliquish, conformist atmosphere that permeated high school.
In fact, truth be told, I probably wouldn't be able to receive the kind of quality education from zobel if not for him - because my mom appealed for leniency through him because at that time, they were strict on age requirements and residence requirements... i think it was a strong matter of policy wherein first priority would be given to residents of AAV... think of it as early affirmative action in a local context - it was just before my batch wherein they started to accept more and more village outsiders.
Anyway... to Bro. Felix - thank you for all the memories... we will miss you dearly... but we'll be happy knowing that you'll be up there in the great vineyard in the sky... enjoying the vino in between your epic pelota matches with your bigger family.
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